Leaving
by Tierry Leoine
Summary: Helen rethinks her relationship with Lex and the influence of one Clark Kent on their lives, while preparing her daughter for a party. Clex, naturally.


_Disclaimer:__ they're not mine and i gain no profits from his story Rother than personal satisfaction. _

_Do you really think, that if they were mine I would be writing stories instead of putting this on screen? Give me a break. _

_Cathegory:__ AU after "Calling", what would happen if Lex married Helen. With some spoilers for a part of "Covenant" and "Bound", romance _

_Summary:__ Helen rethinks her relationship with Lex and the influence of one Clark Kent on their lives, while preparing her daughter for a party._

Helen looked at her daughter, giggling, but seriously regarding her dress. Leanna looked then at her father for approval, which was granted immediately with a small smile. Then their eyes met and Lex took his leave with a short nod.

She was used to this, those moments that belonged to her husband and daughter, where she had no place. She was used to them, just like she was used to those mornings, when Lex would make Leanna breakfast and sit with her and talk about all those little things that are important at the tender age of six and a half.

The reason for this is all very simple, really, as Lex does not have half the time she does, even with her work at the hospital, for their child and tries to spend as much of it with her as he can. Something to do with the particular way of being raised by Lionel Luthor she supposed. And being a CEO is never easy, not even for her nearly genius husband. Especially, if everything was to work properly and legally. The second part was even more important, as Lex had someone, who kept him on his toes constantly, when regarding LexCorp. And it wasn't Helen.

She felt a bitter taste in her mouth when she thought about her husband's conscience personalized, Clark Kent, Daily Planet youngest investigative reporter ever. Not to mention a very successful Human Interest journalist before that and the only one to share bylines with infamous Lois Lane. The worst thing was, that all those privileges, his raise to the top, he archived by himself. Helen knows that, because Lex had often offered to help and was refused time and time again. Clark Kent was probably the only one, who dared to continually refuse a Luthor.

Helen had never entirely understood their relationship. If she had anything to say in the matter, she would have picked those two as the most unlikely pair of friends. Really, just what exactly a billionaire, suave, worldly, genius Lex Luthor and hick, as small-town as they get, 6 years his junior, not too smart farmboy could have in common? And yet, against all the odds, all the better judgment, they were as close friends as they could get. Maybe even closer.

She had to admit, she had always been jealous of it. Jealous of Clark Kent being witness to each and every triumph in Lex's life, ever since he found his way into her husband's life, and most of his failures as well. Helen had been always just a little jealous of the way Lex always smiled, when Clark called, of the way he was always ready to drop everything on the spot for him. He had been the first one to see Leanna, even before her or Lex's father, the first one to hold her, the one, although Helen suspected Lex di not think she knew this particular little fact and would deny it when asked, to suggest the name for their little girl. He had been the best man at their wedding, always there, in his most rightful place of Lex' best friend. Well, almost.

They had a lapse in their relationship, when Lionel, at a desperate attempt of breaking them apart, had told Clark about the room. The room, where a giant picture of Clark took half of the wall, where every bit of knowledge Lex had gathered about him was stored. Clark broke off their friendship after he confirmed the truthfulness of Lionel's words. Those had been the happiest times in her marriage, those six months until Lex had been accused of a murder and, thanks again to Clark Kent, was proven innocent.

But those six months were the best possible. But, of course, Lex had to go and try to patch things up with Clark. Destroy the contents of the room, go, try to woo him, see him as often as possible. This made Helen bitter. Because at the same time Lex was as attentive to her as he had never been before. He made love to her, took her to different cities every weekend, to dinners and social events, that he thought she would like. But at the same time, she always felt that his mind was someplace else, not there with her to be exact.

Lex tried and tried, not giving up even after Clark told him it won't work. Helen realized then, while watching her husband, that he could not afford to loose Clark. Not like he had been able to loose her, all those years ago, before their wedding.

But for those six months she was almost grateful for this room, even if it was the hard evidence of Lex' obsession with the boy. Again, almost. Because she still remembered what it felt like, when she had first entered the room, when she understood that Lex will never, ever fully belong to her, that there will always be a part of him that will be exclusively Clark's. Even if it was not exactly the best part, rather the most obsessive, possessive, the strongest and scariest part of Lex. But that part was still what made Lex himself and the better side of possessiveness and obsessiveness was missing in their relationship.

But it changed, when they had reconciled. She remembered, when, one of those nights, that Lex spontaneously did something, a premiere of the newest play in Broadway this time, they came back home. As it was a spun of the moment thing, she did not have time to call their usual babysitter for Leanna and Helen did not want any stranger taking care of her baby daughter, but Lex said he had taken care of everything. Still, she had been worried. Righteously so, but for a whole different reason than she should have.

They walked into the living room to see a family picture, one of peaceful tranquility. It was also one, that Helen found quite disturbing.

There was Clark, of course, who else would Lex call to take care of his daughter in case of emergency?, half sitting, half lying on the sofa, the TV turned on the CNN, but mute. And Leanna lying, peacefully asleep and curled up in Clarks' arms, draped in a soft, baby blanket, that Helen didn't remember having, but one that looked distinctly like something Martha Kent would make.

They had apparently been waiting for her and Lex to come home.

She stood there, stuck by some invisible force, while her husband quietly approached and shook awake his friend. Clark opened his eyes and immediately grinned widely at Lex. Helen, seeing a responding smile, felt like an intruder. And it was not the first time she felt like that.

Clark picked Leanna delicately and carried her to her bedroom with Lex trailing behind him. Another strange thing. Luthors did** not** follow anyone, her husband no exception to that rule. Until now, apparently.

Later, Lex walked Clark to the doors and bid him goodbye there. Somehow they managed to completely exclude her from their little world, even though she stood mere meters away. But when he turned back to her, Lex smiled softly, mysteriously. He knew that smile got to her each and every time.

They had made love that night, long and languid, spiced with hidden passion.

Helen did not know it then, but Lex wasn't with her that evening, it wasn't her being worshipped, but someone…else. And she refused to try and acknowledge who exactly that was.

Still, she had never really understood how those two could be friends, not to think something more. There were too many secrets between them, to many lies and too much deceit. In some things Helen was more trusted than Lex was. At least until the incident with the room. Still, the bond between those two seemed unbreakable. Stronger it seemed than her marriage, as even when Lex an Clark weren't friends, when Lex paid attention to her, there was always something else on his mind, some scheme being planned. Everywhere they went, Lex always bought some small trinket, that he had no use for, except if he wanted to give it to someone. But no-one was close enough to Lex for him to buy souvenirs. And that, this seemingly small, irrelevant details hurt too. Helen had always known she would never come first in Lex' life. There was always LexCorp, later Leanna, and Clark, although she denied this particular, little fact for a while.

Now, she took her daughter by her hand to lead the child, the firstborn to Lex Luthor to the party Lex had thrown for one reason or another. She could barely remember these days, with the hospital, Leanna, Lex' constant good mood, that pretty much came from nowhere as far as Helen could tell, and this growing feeling, nagging at the back of her mind.

They walked the corridor slowly, took the elevator two stories down, where the party was being held. As the door were sliding open, she felt her mouth curving into a polite, calm and courteous smile.

She looked around, searching for Lex, and, of course, there he stood with Clark at his side, sharing some jest from the sight of it.

They both looked very….at ease. And that was not something Lex felt in public, even during his own parties. And Clark was smiling his trademark, wide, honest-to-god, farmboy smile that made women of all ages swoon after him. But, directed at her husband, it was honest, always true and just the plain sight of that smile made Lex relax. Again, something uniquely connected to the person of Clark Kent.

"They look very good together, don't they?"

Helen heard a slightly raspy voice beside her and turned to regard her guest.

The woman had jet-black hair and sharp, dark blue eyes. She wore a classical, blue gown, that accented just the right curves and a shawl two shades darker.

Helen turned back to look at the two men.

"Yes. Yes, they do."

"It's almost like they belong together." The sentence was spoken softly, in a wistful tone and Helen could only nod numbly. Who was that woman? Didn't she know to whom she was talking to? And, most importantly, was it all really that obvious? That it wasn't her, whom Lex rally loved? "Neither of them cares for the world unless it hold the other one as well. Otherwise it doesn't really matter."

"I'm sorry, you are?" Helen had had enough at that moment. Knowing it was one thing, but hearing this from a stranger…..

"Lois Lane" the woman smiled, but it was not a pretty smile. Predators would smile like that. "I'm Clark's partner at the Planet."

"Helen Bryce." Even after all these years she still used the maiden name. Her husband's surname had always intimidated her patients.

Lois smiled again. Of course, she knew from the beginning to who she was talking to.

"Yes, I know."

Clark seemed to notice them at that moment and whispered something to Lex, an intimate gesture, one she was never allowed. Her husband nodded and made his way through the crowd with Clark half a step behind him.

Leanna noticed them too and yanked her hand free and ran towards her father.

What surprised Helen was that she didn't jump him. Instead, narrowly missing her father, Leanna pounced Clark with a loud, happy squeal of delight, when he caught her and lifted.

And, again, neither of men were paying any attention to their respective partners now, their attention turned towards the fiery-haired princess in Clark's arms.

"The whole world, Helen," She heard Lois whisper. "the whole world does not matter as long as they have each other."

Helen felt she had to leave. Leave right now. And not only the party.

She knew what that feeling had been, knew all too well now. It was the feeling of not belonging anymore, maybe just now, maybe not ever. But it hardly mattered now.

Lex had his world given to him by the same person who took Helen's world from her. And she knew she could not blame him, even if she had wanted to. They did not choose to fall in love, but that feeling was stronger than anything she ever had.

And she wanted it as well. She was leaving.

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